It’s Okay to Try Again

“There is no failure.  Only feedback.” –Robert Allen

If you’ve ever felt like giving up, you’re not alone.
I’ve felt like giving up before.

I’ve had that feeling of disgust and self-dejection, thinking you’re no longer worth anything, and that you may as well skulk back home and watch some TV while trying to figure out your next move.

It doesn’t feel good.

But I’ve got news for you. That feeling of failure, of thinking that there’s no way you can ever reach your goals – it’s a human feeling. It’s human nature.

Everyone has had that feeling.

And when I say “everyone”, I mean everyone – from the multi-billionaires, to those who just haven’t succeeded yet.

We’re All In This Together

As human beings, we harbor desires for greatness and wealth.

We want a sense of security, a sense that what we’re doing is worth doing, and a sense of control over our lives. All humans want this, and it’s a trait that marks us out as humans.

I’ve never seen a dog or a parrot plan to start their own business – but we do it all the time!

So, with this in mind, if you were to talk with someone about this feeling of despair that you’re carrying, do you think they’ll know what you’re talking about? Of course!

As Danny points out, everyone wonders whether to give up, and everyone has dreams. Whether they’re secret dreams or not, everyone wants to see those dreams realized. Talk to someone about what their dreams are, and they’ll either tell you what they are, or they’ll mumble something evasive or elusive in response. Those who mumble do still have dreams, they just haven’t clarified them in their head yet. Give them time, and they’ll have a better idea.

Those who answer confidentially and clearly are those who are further along the road to success. And guess what? You’re part of that group too!

You’re Closer Than You Think

The very fact that you’re able to have a dream, and you’re able to take steps and strides towards that dream, automatically puts you in a better position to accomplish those dreams than most other people on this planet.

I want you to read that sentence again and digest it, because there’s something really important contained here. Most people don’t know what they want from life. They don’t understand that it’s up to them to get the results they want, and that no-one will hand results to them on a silver platter.

While part of them is screaming out to make some changes and do something with their lives, the other part is content with watching re-runs of their favorite TV shows, and let their waking moments be dominated by concerns about their bills and expenses.

Most people don’t want to do the work, which is why they won’t see the results.

You are different.

You have a dream, and you know what that dream is. You know you’re in a position to reach that dream, you just keep coming across that pesky barrier known as ‘failure’. How to get past it? How to charge through failure and reach all those goals and aims?

Well, I can’t take you by the hand and walk you to your heart’s desires, because that wouldn’t be fair to me or you. But I can share a certain ‘law’ with you.

The Law of Success

If I ever tell you about a secret law of success that is guaranteed to give you the results you want, please slap me in the face and tell me to shut up, because I’ll be lying.

There is no universal law of success. There is no fixed path to greatness and dreams.

However, there is something that does apply to us, and it’s this:

Failure always comes before success.

If we want to experience the levels of success that we dream about, then we need to experience a level of failure. Sure, we may have some amount of success beforehand, which is really just ‘beginner’s luck’. But that eventually runs out, and we then begin to discover first-hand that cold taste of failure.

It’s inevitable that failure will find us, no matter how hard we try. It breaks down our self-esteem, reduces our ambitions to dust, and leaves us wondering how we’ll ever get out of this mess. It’s not very pleasant at all.

But the trick to overcome failure, to move past those sensations of doom and gloom, is a simple one. All you have to do is try again.

It may take more than one try to get back on the ideal path, but if the first try doesn’t work out, then try again. And if that doesn’t work, try once more. And then try again. Keep trying until you have hauled yourself back on course, and then resume where you left off.

Once you do that, the feelings of despair will melt away. And you’ll wonder why you were ever getting so worked up in the first place.

Failure Lives in the Head

So why were you getting so worked up? Nobody had provoked you or called you names – why were you agonizing over something that, deep down, you knew could be fixed?

It’s because failure doesn’t live out there in the ‘real world’. It lives in your head.

Now here’s the thing about the fear of failure, and any fear in general – it’s a mental thing. It’s not in the world living and breathing like some great boogie monster. It’s not just round the corner waiting for you to walk by so it can jump out and scare you. The only place you’ll find it is in your mind.

It only comes forward when it needs to, but when it does, it refuses to budge. It grabs hold of our thought patterns and infects our logic. It makes our life hell.

So it lives in the mind – but that’s a good thing. There’s only one thing in this world that we can truly, completely control – the mind. We can control what we think, and how we look at events and circumstances. We can change our beliefs and opinions, and behave however we want to behave.

So, if fear lives in the mind, and we can control our mind, does that mean that we can control fear?

Not quite. I’m not sure if we can remove fear completely, but we can control our reaction to fear. We can choose how we deal with events when fear rears up, and negate the influences fear has on us. We have that choice.

Choosing To Try Again

When it comes to failure, the choice is this: either stay down and crawl back to your starting point while you lick your wounds, or stand back up and choose to try again.

I know I’d choose the latter, but what would you do?

Would you lay down and refuse to move, or would you jump back up and dust yourself off, then charge back into the fray?

Your future, your dreams, your life, depends on what choice you make. I hope you choose well.

Stuart is a personal development blogger who wants to help you out. He thinks you’re awesome. You can often find him at Unlock The Door, where he writes constantly to make it a better day for everyone.

Tagged as: focus, Guest Appearances, Stuart Mills